This will be a post about the little voice inside my head that asks God for a million things at all hours of the day. While we aren't a particularly religious household (by not particularly, I mean not at all) He/She has become my best friend in times of desperation. I ask God for a bevy of things....last night, for instance, "please God let this child shut up and stop looking at me." For some reason Joey looking at me put me in a place of desperation that found the little voice inside my head asking God for help. It was 2:30 am, give me a break...the kid would not stop blinking at me with his playful "I'm not tired and I'm not going back to sleep," eyes. This led to "please God don't make me sleep on his floor," and then "God damn it." Recent pleas include; "God why are you doing this to me," "God please keep this kid awake until at least 8:30," "God please, no more puking," "Dear God why are you testing me, I'm weak, I give in, HELP."
I guess a non religious person asking God for help is as useful as asking Santa for the same help. But, for some reason it makes me feel better. I don't expect some all knowing voice to over power my weak and feeble one and lay down some sort of divine wisdom in my time of need. I think I just need someone to talk to. And, I can't talk out loud, and it would be weird to have a conversation with someone I actually know in my head, so God it is.
P.S. I was up at 2:30 am because after 2 full weeks of sleeping through the night, Joey decided he didn't want to do that anymore. I am not lying when I say my kid goes out of his way to fuck with us.