Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Worst night of my life.

Let me tell  you about the worst night of my life.....

I come home from work on Tuesday to learn that Joey had to be picked up from daycare.  He had a temp of 102, was grumpy, wanted to be held and was all around not feeling very well.  No big deal, we've been through fevers before.  Nothing this high,  but I was convinced we could handle it.

We gave him Tylenol at about 5:30 and took turns letting him lay on us.  I should have known then that something was weird.  Joey NEVER sits still.  Never just lays and needs to be held.  What was also a bit frightening was he was panting.  There were 2 or 3 extra breaths in his breathing cycle and they were semi rapid.

Then he started to randomly shake.  It was a lot like his try to poop shake, or the cold sweat shakes.  But then there was random twitches of his arms and legs.  This is when we called the consulting nurse.  She told us the breathing was normal and the shaking wasn't.  She wanted us to keep an eye on the shaking and if it continued for 20 more minutes to get in to the ER.


Literally as we put the phone down I start to lift Joey up to take his temperature and he starts to have a seizure.  He got super stiff, eyes rolled back into his head and his jaw locked.

I shot up, put Joey on the floor, Rick got next to him and I dialed 911.

The 911 dispatcher instructed us to take all his clothes off and keep him from shaking violently and hurting himself.  We needed to cool him down and prevent him from choking on any saliva or vomit that was in his mouth.

I was doing the best I could to relay this information to Rick but I couldn't bring myself to get close to him and get in the action.  I couldn't see Joey like that.

So I'm shouting orders from the hallway and stealing glances when I had to tell the 911 lady what he was doing. Then she had me put the phone up to Joey so she could hear if he was making noises.  He wasn't.  Which meant he wasn't getting air.  She then instructed us to pick him up and get him on a hard surface so we could give him CPR.  As Rick was scooping out saliva from his mouth he pressed on his chest a little bit and Joey took a deep breath.  The 911 lady heard this and heard Joey cry and then instructed us to just wait until the paramedics got here.

At this point Joey is breathing but his eyes are locked in the back of his head.  All the color is drained from his body and he broke out in hives on one side of his face and neck.

I'm still on the phone with 911 and the paramedics shot through the door.  5 of my new favorite people.

They checked his vitals and temp, took a blood sugar test and put quick acting Tylenol up his bum.  Then he vomited.  A lot.  In my hoody.  Curdled milk from the baba he had about an hour before.  The temperature inside his body was so hot it literally curdled the milk.

His temp was 103 and his blood sugar was low and they took us to the ER.

At the ER we basically tried to rule out any sort of infection.  Ear infection, UTI, pneumonia, etc.  He had nothing.  And his temp was 104.4.  He got a quadruple dose of Tylenol and we waited for it to go down.  We left at about 1 in the morning and Joey still had a temp of 101.

We were sent home with instructions to dose him every four hours with Ibuprofen and Tylenol and told that this sort of thing just happens sometimes to babies.

I don't know how to accurately describe what it felt to watch my child go through that.  I have visions of him struggling to breath and in a locked position burned into my brain.  It was the most horrific and terrifying night of my life.

I'm proud of the way Rick and I handled this and I'm thankful to the 911 dispatcher who walked me through everything and the paramedics who were so so nice.  I'm thankful Joey is fine and will not suffer any permanent damage from this and won't remember it even happened.

I wish that was the same for me and Rick.

Waiting for the fever to break

Auntie Shanny showed up!!

Still waiting.

Finally get to go home.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Our house lately

Lately our house (and the noise and destruction occurring in it) has been a constant reminder to Rick and myself, that the grass is always greener on the other side. 

It started with little comments like, "I wish Joey could move around a little.  Be a little bit more than a squirmy blob"

Now its "JOEY!  Do not stand in the middle of the couch and start jumping." And, "Joey we don't climb the stairs when mommy isn't looking." "Joey we don't throw (insert any object you could possibly think of)"

Then it progressed to "I wish Joey could communicate with us."

Communication, as we found out, equals yelling.  All the time.  While standing in the middle of the couch trying to jump sometimes he throws his arms toward the ceiling and just yells.  Really loud.  Like he is orating a sermon of some sort and we are his faithful followers.

His latest......lets have a yelling contest so I can make noise AND crack up, at.the.same.time. 

And, lately, Joey has blessed us with not only verbal communication, but facial expression communication.  Basically, the Italian in him is shining through brilliantly.

We have the "I know I'm not supposed to be doing this, but I think its fun and I'm going to laugh and do it anyway," look.  Which mostly comes when he is staring right at me and throwing his food on the floor violently for Phoebe.  Or when he is throwing EVERY MOTHER LOVING THING in the garbage! 

What is that, why do kids love throwing things away?  Things you need and want and definitely don't want in the garbage......

So we wished for a few things and basically ended up with a noisy house that has food all over the place, and all sorts of random crap in the garbage.

I wonder what his next awesome thing will be. 

I predict he will successfully climb out of his crib and give walking down the stairs a go.

I'm excited.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Reason #57643 I want to be a millionaire

Two words, Waldorf School.


True to my psychotic/virgo fashion, I spent most the day yesterday trying to figure out how to get Joey into a Waldorf School.  As it would turn out, we're screwed; unless Rick hits it big on a scratch ticket and I am a stay at home mom - or we win a kabillion dollars and hire a nanny. 

So what is Waldorf?  While our traditional education system stiffles individuality and lacks the resources to really tap into how each individual child learns, Waldorf is the exact opposite.  They cater to individual personalities and work within the child's imagination and creative side to teach them the core subjects.  They don't just read out of a textbook and get tested, they create, feel, experience things and are able to put that into context to develop their intellect.  Its basically really expensive hippy school with AMAZING results.  

Shouldn't this be available to all children, regardless of money?

My answer, yes.
Waldorf answer, no.

A preschool education at the Waldorf School of Seattle will run you about $4000-$6000 a year.  This is 2-3 times a week for 4 hours at a time.  Not kidding.  This school is no joke.  And if they didn't have the most amazing curriculum and produce the most amazing children, I would think they were a bunch of assholes.  But, they're not, and I love them.

So if any of you out there know a millionaire with a ton of extra money on their hands, please send them my way.  I will prepare a presentation on why they should sponsor Joey's education at a Waldorf School.

Thanks in advance. 

Oh, and yes, I understand my son literally just turned one and it is kinda weird to be thinking about preschool.  I'm weird and plan things very far in advance.  Always.

Check out the awesomeness WALDORF

Monday, November 21, 2011


This is what we got to deal with this weekend!  Yay for us!

After a thorough review of the situation I don't think this was pink eye.  It sure as hell looked like it, but most likely was just his cold going into his eyes. 

I called the consulting nurse's office at about 7 a.m..  I must have sounded a little panicked because she asked me "ohhh is this your first one."  Apparently I'm that obvious and psychotic.  She went through all the possibilities of what it could be, everything we could do for it and then hit the jackpot with her "you probably need to get him into daycare on Monday, huh!?"  Ummm, yes!

So with that predicament we were only left with 2 options; medicate or take the week off while it passes on its own. 

Dah!  Always held hostage in one way or another!

So he has been on eye drops for the last couple days.  He doesn't give a crap and really, I don't give a crap.  I want his eyes back to normal, back to the way I made them, and I don't want to deal with this anymore. 

Friday, November 18, 2011

I'm an idiot

Ever since Joey was born there has been this super secret hush hush competition between Rick and I for who is the favored parent.  Every parent does this because every parent wants to win and be totally awesome at life and be loved the most.  Or maybe that's just us because we are psycho.


I have been chosen.  I am the favorite parent.  He loves me MOST. 

And it sucks.

Being loved most is the WORST.  Every time I enter a room Joey starts whining and crying at my feet.  He wants to be picked up.  He will literally fling himself from other peoples arms and reach out for me.  He wants to be close and be held by me 24/7.  To the extent that he won't stop crying hysterically until I do it. 

I have won the shit lottery.  The lottery where you think you won but you just get a bunch of shit.  The shit lottery.

What the hell do I do?  I don't like to hear the cry noise.  I do love him and want to cuddle/hold and kiss his little face, but not all the time to the sound of whiny baby face. 

Rick says this is a product of me being super sensitive and always picking him up if he whines.  I think he calls it "helicopter parenting."  Clearly he didn't get the memo that he is doing this because he loves me best and this is most definitely NOT the product of helicopter parenting, whatever the hell that is. 

At this point I feel I have 2 options, let him cry or pick him up.  There needs to be a 3rd option, this can't!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011 me?! What!?

So, Joey's new daycare is a Christian daycare.  I think I told you that....anyway, I don't think we really knew what that meant.  I mean, honestly, I kinda knew but Rick...most definitely didn't know. 

Last week when we got Joey's first daily sheet a few things immediately popped out at us.  So much in fact that I almost didn't want Rick to see the sheet.  The sheet lists what songs they sing and books they read and what kind of games they played.  Now, you can imagine what kinds of songs and books and games a Christian daycare sings, reads and plays....I think the book was Jesus is in me. (Not effing kidding...who the hell chooses that title).

Rick immediately flew off the handle.  Which unleashed intense rage on my behalf because I was very upfront and honest with him about the Christian part of this daycare, ADDITIONALLY, I scheduled a tour for him to go out without me present.  If he had any indication that this was something he could not live with, he had ample time to A; say something, and B; find us a new daycare.

So here we are. 

I am struggling because its not my intention to fill Joey's head with things that we don't necessarily practice at home.  But at the same time, religious songs and beliefs about good deeds and all that is not the same as organized religion go to church type stuff.  I mean they aren't holding a sermon every day for crying out loud, they are singing songs about Jesus being in them (so weird, everytime).  And, he's 1, he has no idea what is going on.

So I am left with what's the worse that could come of this....honestly, I don't see anything wrong with them trying to teach him Christian values.  Because what that means is they are teaching him to be a "good" person, do good things, love your neighbor type stuff!?  I think.  I don't know.  I'm torn. 

I think where this is really going to start getting interesting is when he does actually understand what they are saying and when he starts asking us a lot of questions. 

Parenting is getting interesting.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Video day!

Here are some videos that showcase what's been going down in our house.  Included is drunk walking, drums, sharing and a ton of expletives during a Thursday night football game.  Rick apologizes and promises to never say the F word again...or reference shoving anything up anyone's bum.


Drunk walking AND clapping....

Best friends forever....

The mother effing drum set.  Thanks dad!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Daycare adventure

The long awaited day arrived!  We finally started our new daycare on Monday!!

It's only been 2 days, and I can already tell this place is a great fit for us.

We got there on Monday morning and were instantly met by the head toddler teacher who said "yay Joey is here!"  I swear, I saw more emotion out of the teacher in that first 2.5 seconds then we did for almost a year with our previous provider. 

We were then lead into the toddler room where she showed me where Joey's cubby was.  At the mere mention of the word cubby I began to get teary eyed.  My baby, my sweet burrito, has a cubby now!!

We then went over the daily routine and menu.  She was on the floor with Joey at this point and she said I could stay as long as I needed and invited me to sit with her.  I took notice of how comfortable Joey was and how he wasn't paying much attention to me and told her I would need to go pretty soon because I was about to cry.  So I kissed the burrito boy goodbye and went to the car where I proceeded to ugly cry, alone.

I think I was most scared about him not having a familiar face around and feeling a sense of aloneness or being frightened by the amount of kids around.  I was basically just being a psycho mom and was nervous about stuff that only existed in my head.

He did great.  His daily sheet said he was a happy baby and did amazing for his first day.  He ate tons of good food, played outside and even had his first attempt at "nap time."  Although, she said he spent nap time crawling around to all the other kids trying to get them to play with him. 

All in all, we are extremely happy.  It feels so good to know you are doing the best thing for your child.  He is going to benefit a lot from the routine, attention and socialization this place can offer him and we love the interaction and attention we get from the teachers. 

Couldn't be happier!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

1 whole year

My Joe Joe,
A year ago today you changed mine and your dads lives forever.  Your perfect little self was born and mommy and daddy became parents.  Just like that. 

From the moment we knew you existed, we wanted you.  From the moment you took your first breath, we loved you.  Your first cries, your first poo (ask your dad about that some day!), your first smile, your first laugh, your first words; all your firsts this year have only deepened the love we've had for you since that very second we learned of you.  It's amazing how such a little person can do that. 

This past year you have been a constant joy and continual challenge (Scorpio!).  You are so much like your daddy and even more like your momma.  You feel with such fire and intensity.  And then you love so easily and freely.  You make it known what you want, how you want it and where you want it and then you demand to be hugged and make it known you love us. 

To say you have changed mine and your daddy's lives would be an understatement.  Beyond the hours of sleep deprivation and constant exhaustion, you have made us better people.  You, from the very beginning, changed the very center of our universe.  We put you first, we love you first, we spend every waking moment worrying, planning, cooking, cleaning and loving you.   

Thank you for choosing us as your parents.  Thank you for showing us what love is.  And, thank you for reaffirming the love I have for your daddy.  You and I are very lucky to have him and we are both very lucky to have you.
Happy first birthday little one, I love you.

- Mom

Friday, November 4, 2011

What a difference a year makes

On this night one year ago, I was convincing my mom and Rick that I wasn't in labor.  I was refusing to time my contractions and avoiding acknowledging their looks to one another from across the room that said "she's in labor." 

Tonight, one year later, I will be cleaning my house and preparing for my son's first birthday party. 

What a difference a year makes.

I can honestly say I can't believe we made it.  There were some times where I thought we were done for.  I thought I wouldn't be able to stand one more poopy diaper, one more restless night or one more feeding.  I think we were so sleep deprived the first 6 months that we barely spoke 2 words to one another after getting home from work.  We were exhausted and truthfully found it hard to "enjoy" being parents.

What a difference a year makes.

On Sunday Joey turns one.  Our tiny blob has magically turned into a tiny person.  He is less and less dependent on us for every need and is developing his independent and stubborn streak quite nicely.  I love this part.  I love one year old Joey, admittedly a lot more then super fresh Joey.  I love seeing him develop.  I love his personality.  I love how he has changed me as a person and I love the effect he has had on our family.  One year old Joey is responsible for so much good in my life and I will be forever grateful.

What a difference a year makes.