We went to Children's. For the second time.
End result = you're an asshole mother, he's fine.
Camera up the nose, down the throat, past the adenoids and to the vocal chords. Joey loved it.
What we saw was nothing. Yes, his adenoid is a tad larger than normal, not too large though and definitely not the cause of his squeak. No, his vocal chords were not inflammed this time, but there was more mucus and phlegm around them. Also not the cause of his squeak. And maybe, just maybe, his larynx was a little floppier than it should but definitely not too floppy and most likely not the cause of his squeak.
He's fine. Just freaking fine.
Cool. Parent of the year award.
The obvious thing to deduce from this, and the MILLION other things we have put Joey through on our quest to locate the cause of the squeak, is that it is most likely a combination of factors that are contributing to the noise. There is nothing serious and his insides all check out fine. The doctor said "look at your son, is he healthy? Is he growing? Is he developing? He's fine. Don't come back."
Done and done.
Rick and I got in the parking lot and just looked at each other like we were a bunch of assholes. Joey was waving at something and trying to share a cheerio with whoever was walking by, and we looked like we just got the crap kicked out of us. He is normal. Clearly of normal height and weight and clearly developing as he should. But we had just put him through round 7 of doctor exams and semi invasive procedures when we knew the whole time he was fine.
Its hard to look back on this situation and not feel shitty. We let the concerns and comments of other people (though very well intentioned) place this little seed of doubt in our brains. We trusted our intuition until we didn't and that's what started this downhill spiral of pointless exams.
Luckily Joey probably won't be too traumatized and hopefully will not know that any of this ever happened. Unfortunately I can't say the same for Rick and myself.
We've learned our lesson.
Clearly Joey is growing great. This
sock is for 3 - 5 year olds.