Thursday, June 30, 2011


Rick jinxed us.

Joe has been sleeping through the night for the past month and a half.  Its been heaven.  More than heaven, its like imagining the greatest thing in the world, and then having that thing.  We finally could rely on a solid 8 hours of sleep. 

Throughout this month and a half, Rick and I were fully aware of what was happening, but we made damn sure we didn't talk about it.  If you talk about it and acknowledge it, you jinx it.  So we were silently enjoying our full nights of sleep, and it was everything we hoped it would be.

Then it happened. 

Rick talked about it.  Maybe he thought enough time had gone by and we were now out of the jinxing time frame.  Maybe he just missed waking up in the middle of the night to a WIDE AWAKE baby. 

Maybe he's just an ass.

I'm not kidding you, the VERY next night after Rick spoke about the unmentionable, Joe stopped sleeping through the night.  It started with a 4 am wide awake session, and then it was a 2:30 am wide awake session and last night it was a 3:30 wide awake session.


Now, how do you undo this?  Do I have to make a potion with Rick's blood, dragon breath and the hair of a virgin (do those exist anymore!)?



Wednesday, June 29, 2011

He's a fishy

It was love at first sight.

Joe and the water are one.  They love each other and have a fantastic relationship. 

Needless to say, day one of swim lessons were a huge success.  Joe was the only tiny kid that instantly started splashing around and squealing with delight.  One kid cried the whole time, another just sat there and clung on to their dad and others just weren't as cute as Joe.  Duh.

Here's a video and some pics.  The video is sideways because that's what you get when you leave Rick in charge of picture/video duties. 

We had fun. 

Got my trunks on, and a baba for the road, cause I have been eating an 8 oz bottle
every hour for a week now. oy

Checking it out. 

Yay!  Fun in the water!!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Snapshots, because I'm exhausted.

Today you get pictures because I am too tired to come up with anything clever about my LONG ass weekend.  Rick was gone from 8:30 am to 10:45 pm on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, so I had Joe to myself all day and night.  I am beginning to think now that this was Rick's clever way of showing me how much I need him around...hmmmm....

Anyway, mom, kid weekend..........

TRAPPED!  I actually had to whip out the baby gate.

Beach day at Richmond Beach.  Joe had about 6 layers of sunscreen on.  Safety first!

I tried to put that basket behind the recliner because he crawls back there and tries to lick wires.  So what does he do, he moves the basket.  Of course. 

We're bored.  And the only way to get Joe to stop making noise is to do random shit to him.  Like put blocks on his head.

Then there was the task of doing laundry while there is a baby crawling around or in your lap....

This kid had me moving non-stop for three days.  Rick, we need you, we like you, and please don't ever go anywhere without us ever again.  Please and thank you. 

Monday, June 20, 2011

The Jesus factor

We are on the hunt for a new daycare.  For a wide variety of reasons, but mainly because we need a provider with more structure.  Our current lady is great and we love that she didn't send us packing a long time ago.  But, she is seriously lacking in the structure department.  And if Joe's difficult road thus far is any indication of future behavior, we are going to be needing some reinforcements. 

So, I've found a place.  Seems great, nice website, very polite and quickly responding director, affordable and close proximity to our house.......and......its a Christian daycare (insert dun dun dunnnnnn).

For me, this is not an issue.  For Rick, this is a huge issue. 

I don't know what scares him the most about this, but from what I've gathered, he has a big issue with them "lying" to Joe.  And he thinks we are going to have to "undo" all the horrible damage that comes from singing songs about Jesus. 

I on the other hand don't think they will be reading these kids scripture 24/7 and throwing God and the Bible and all that crap down his tiny acidy throat.  I envision them using God as sort of a moral compass and teaching kids to treat others how they want to be treated and just living a moral life (irony: child out of wedlock...doh!).  I don't think stories about Noah's Ark are going to lead to hours and hours of therapy later down the road. 

So, we are at our first major parenting road block.  And, its a doosey. 

We have a tour scheduled for Friday so we'll see how churchy it really is.  And, maybe they won't even want us heathens anyway. 

Friday, June 17, 2011

Bananas and Bears

What do bananas and bears have in common?  Both suck. 

Bananas more so for Joe...

Bears more so for the momma.....

Conclusion:  No more banana's for Joe and no more bears for Joe and the momma.  Both suck and both can go double b.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I think this is where the weight loss begins

I have a feeling I will never ever be able to sit down and rest ever again.  No more turning my back and trusting that Joe will be in the same place.  No more sitting down and taking a load off.  The foreseeable future looks a tad bit exhausting and includes tons of movement.

This morning I came downstairs to find Joe chewing on remotes while Rick slept in the recliner.  Shoot dirty look at Rick and then take Joe up to sit in my bathroom while I take a shower.  This usually is very hit or miss.  This morning, very much so a miss.  He promptly crawled over to the toilet and I swear to god almost licked it.  Rick is now asleep in the bed.  Grrrr. 

We avoid toilet licking and I get out of the shower and go to change his diaper.  Diaper changed, turn around to grab some socks and he tries to make me  piss myself by launching himself off his changing table.  I caught his first leg and quickly lay him back down. 

Socks on, baby on floor.  Momma needs to put some clothes on.  Not more than 5 seconds later I hear a rustle of plastic coming from the other room.  Run in there half dressed and see baby Joe had found the wrapper his diapers came in and was trying to commit suicide by shoving the plastic bag in his mouth.  I know, stupid idiot parents for having that in his reach.  I KNOW, trust me, I know. 

Third crisis averted and we have hit 7 am.  Put make-up on and catch Joe trying to real deal crawl, with proud....

Then we venture downstairs to make the coffee, feed the doggy, take doggy potty, etc....btw, Rick still in bed.  Lame.

Take doggy out to go potty, Joey in bouncy chair....

Come back in from potty and catch the tail end of this almost disaster...

Basically, by the time I had left for work I was ready for bed again.  The kid cannot sit still.  We are seriously in for it when those two monster feet hit the ground running. 

Take pity on us.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Big sigh....

While I might have a hard time convincing some of you I am not crazy, I now have medical proof!!  Booya, in your face Rick!  [Insert happy dance here]

So, I followed up with my doctor about my overwhelming fatigue.  We discussed possible causes of this (causes besides 7 month old highly volatile son) and ran some tests.  She said it sounded like a low lying physical depression (booooooo), but wanted to run some tests to make sure.  So she did a complete blood count, looked at my iron levels, and checked to make sure my thyroid was working properly. 

What we found out was my iron levels are really low.  And that surprised her because I had told her about the new high in red meat diet I had been on.  So she said if I wasn't eating all the meat I have been eating that I would have dangerously low iron levels.  Which, she says, accounts for a lot of how I am feeling.  And she said once one thing is out of whack everything else works overtime and then I just end up a psycho bitch.  Or something to that effect.

SO!  No depression, just a pretty gnarly iron deficiency.  Which now means I get to take iron, which, if you've ever had to take iron, you know sucks balls.

This makes me happy. 

Just to make sure I get everything straight though, I think I am going to had some herbal remedies to my repertoire.  Starting with St. John's Wort and Melatonin.  Hopefully those, combined with the iron will make everything copacetic again and we will have a happier momma...and daddy. 

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

That's my boy

I don't know how many of you out there follow astrological signs, and what not, but I thought Joey's sign and astrological chart is something worth sharing. 

I got the idea to share this after my daycare lady called Joe an "intense human being."  He's 7 months old, and she's already calling him an intense human being.  Oh Lord, please don't fire us, we need you daycare lady and I apologize for my intense boy. 

Here's why he's intense....

What you're looking at is the most one sided astrological chart I have ever seen in my life.  Further; Sun in Scorpio, Moon in Scorpio, Mercury in Scorpio, and Venus in Scorpio.  Scorpio Scorpio Scorpio Scorpio= intense human.

Naturally this needs explanation, so I look up what Sun in Scorpio means and this is the first line; "Scorpios are known for their intensity."  (Not shocked).  Additionally, Scorpios "are determined folk that...absolutely have their own mind."

Moon in Scorpio equals "people who seek out emotional intensity," "most have powerful, emotionally intense lives."  "Moon in Scorpio people radiate strength."

This all sounds really mellow and groovy right!?

Mercury in Scorpio reads; "He is extremely observant and astute, always reading between the lines and looking for the real meaning behind things."  "He likes to have his own mind about things...he is an intellectual."

Lastly, Venus in Scorpio (all the sexy stuff) says; "Their actions in love tend to promise deep commitment and sexual pleasure." "Sensual and passionate...can be jealous and possessive, usually very loyal."


Yes, my kid is intense, even at 7 months old, and you know what, its not my fault.  Its the damn planets fault.

Information retrieved from here

Tuesday, June 7, 2011


I'm just going to throw this out there.  Rick thinks I have post partum depression.  (*shudder*)

I do not think I have post partum depression and on my quest to say in your face, you're wrong, you suck, apologize now and kiss my feet, I came across the usual signs and symptoms.  Which are.....

Inability to sleep - (uh duh, I have a 7 month old)
Extreme worry or concern about the baby - (shit)
Anger toward your partner - (fuck)
Irritability - (this isn't going very well)
Feeling unable to love your baby - (wooo whooo, I love my baby, don't got this one)
Anxiety or panic attacks - (balls)
Loss of interest in hobbies - (did Rick write this list....)
Mood swings - (hi, my name is Sarah...)
Sadness or excessive crying - (vodka contributes to this, I blame vodka)
Frequent questions to the pediatrician with an inability to be reassured - (I quit, this list is stupid)

So, wtf!?  Who came up with this list?  This person obviously doesn't have a small child because any number of these items could just relate to having a baby.

This is stupid.  PPD is stupid. 

So, now on my quest to be even more sure that I don't have it (because this list freaked me out), I am exploring if my low hormone levels have anything to do with anything.  I have a doctor appointment tomorrow to see what we can do because while I know I don't have PPD, I know something just isn't feeling right. 

Stay tuned.  And that list is stupid.

Looks nothing like me :(

I have seen pictures of Rick as a baby a few times; all before Joey was actually here.  So, when I heard Rick's mom was coming to visit us, I quickly asked Rick to beg her to bring his baby pictures.  He looked at me like I was nuts, but I was serious, I NEEDED to see those pictures.

What these pictures confirmed, was the obvious, Joey looks EXACTLY like Rick. 

To a normal person, this would be no big deal, but it kind of bums me out.  Are his genes that much more awesome than my Italian/Irish genes!?  I thought Irish/Italian genes were the most awesome of all time...apparently not. 

Then I started thinking about why this bugs me, and I had an epiphany.  There is not one person in my family that looks like me.  Some say my mom and dad, but thats obvious.  I don't have a sister or brother that really REALLY look like me.  Shannon is blonde haired, blue eyed, Cody and Jess are extremely dark haired and darker (more awesome) skinned.  Granted I am the only product of my parents love, but still, what the hell! 

Can't this little goober that I worked so hard to make even have a little bit of my face!!  I know that this is one of those things that only a crazy person like myself would think about and over analyze.  And I must admit, I've tried to convince Rick a thousand times that Joey's clearly blue eyes look brown.  But, I want a mini me, I want a child to resemble me at least a little bit. 

If our girl looks nothing like me I will just die.  Seriously die, dead.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Its all downhill from here

So I've been trying to capture the crawling process on camera for a while.  And, I have been unsuccessful.  UNTIL NOW!

I present to you, crawling by Joe.  Its more like pulling yourself across the floor, but you get the idea.

Also, please notice the big boy jammies.  Big tear to my face.  My little man is well on his way to grown up status complete with a drivers license, a girlfriend, college, goes too fast.  Way too fast.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Reviews of recent purchases

I figure this space might be a good place for anyone who is a mom, will be a mom, or knows a mom, to hear how some things have worked for us, or mostly, not worked for us.  I know I love me a good review and I always make sure I do my homework before purchasing anything.  And I am pretty sure most moms, especially ones on a budget, do the same.

Some recent purchases include....

(I know what you're thinking....your baby is 7 months old and you JUST bought diapers!?  Yes, we have amazing family and friends that often bless us with the necessities.  We have been blessed so often that we only just now had to buy diapers.  Thanks family!)

These diapers kinda suck.  Yes, our baby has a healthy stream of pee, and he might pee more times than a normal child, but we have never had a leaking issue before we got these diapers.  We have never even had to change Joey's diaper in the middle of the night, and, now, if we don't change him we find ourselves feeling a warm wet spot on ourselves in our early morning try to get Joey back to sleep session.

So, I think our next try at diapers will be the Target brand.  I'll let you know how that goes. 

Next we bought this....

This I like.  In our quest to get Joey off drinking something other than formula (which as most you know, irritates his vocal chords), we got him a sippy cup to drink water from.  While he doesn't quite 100% get it, he does kind of, and ends up with some water...but mostly he just tries to blow bubbles in it.  Its definitely a good starter cup for babies and it doesn't spill, which is awesome.

In the same trip we bought this

Again, on our quest to make solid foods a bigger part of our lives, and avoid the GOD FREAKING AWFUL choking hazards that solid foods present, we got this little gem.  Unfortunately, its proven to be kind of lame.  BUT I think this is our fault, and no fault of this product in particular.  We just don't put enough cool crap in there.  So far he LOVES pickles in it and cantaloupe.  But what ends up happening is he will just suck on the juices of whatever is in there, and not actually get to eat what is in there.  So I am thinking this is intended more for softer foods, and also they suggest freezing something in it and letting him teeth on it. 

Lastly, I will offer a great toy

Joe just recently discovered he had this toy and now it is his absolute favorite.  What's cool about this is it lights up as he presses it and makes a noise according to the light, but if he presses it again a completely different color light and instrument will come up.  And, what is awesome about Baby Einstein toys is every toy has the same corresponding colors to instrument set up.  He loves this and we love that we can just hand it to him and watch him press away. 

So that's the low down on our recent purchases and discoveries.  We are constantly adding new things to our repertoire, so I'll be sure and keep you all updated on what sucks and what doesn't.

Oh, you must not have heard, I'm a little busy these days

Guess what...I'm a little busy.  Not the kind of busy that includes getting my nails done twice a week or planning my next trip to wherever or trying to fit in a bunch of happy hour dates throughout the month.  No, I'm for real busy.  Like grow a human and now take care of him busy. 

Maybe its a little unclear what that really, please, for your sake and mine, let me explain....

I now wake up between the hours of 1:30 - 4:30 every other morning.  I then feed the baby and try get him to go back to bed.  Sometimes successful, most times not. 

I then wake up at 6 am and start my day.  I then go work a full-time job.  On my way home from my full-time job, I pick the child up at daycare, bring him home, and we chat.  Babies like to chat...they also like a ton of attention.  So, while you think I am at home having a grand ol time filing my nails and having tons of telephone chats with all my other friends, I am in fact speaking baby and reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear.  Which, just so happens to be Joey's favorite book.  His only favorite book. 

Its now 6 o'clock, and mind you, I've been up since 4 am, and worked a whole day, and read Brown Bear, Brown Bear a thousand times.  Oh, and guess what, I forgot to mention all the pissing that's happened in this amount of time.  So we've changed a ton of diapers on top of everything else, and guess what, dinner needs to be made. Ours and Joey's.  Joey goes first.  Did you know children aren't born knowing how to eat off a spoon?  You can imagine how fun the learning process is.  We finish, everything is a mess, I wipe his face and put the towel in the laundry. 

Oh shit!  You have a fuck ton of laundry to do.  Maybe it was because I was so busy with all my other friends that I forgot to do this, or maybe I had some other, more important shit going on.  Either way, do the laundry.  

Now, your significant other is home.  He also works a full time job.  He is hungry and you forgot to make him dinner!  Make the man dinner and try to have a conversation with him about something other than your kid.  Oh, you have nothing else going on in your life so its a little hard to do that.  So you stare at each other for a while. 

Thank the lord, you have made it to 9:30 bed time.  If you're lucky this is as easy as feeding him a bottle, if your not lucky its a 15-20 minute process.  10 o'clock, baby in bed. 

Now, you're exhausted, your significant other is exhausted, and guess what! you get to do it all again tomorrow.  And the next day and the next day.

As you can tell from this awesome schedule, there is minimal talking between my significant other and myself.  We are so exhausted that its really difficult to have any sort of conversation with each other besides "I'm so tired."  But, instead of working on my relationship with my boyfriend, I should definitely take this time to call or text you.  I shouldn't go to sleep, or clean my house or pay our bills or wash more of Joey's clothes or have a conversation with my boyfriend, I should call you. 

Here's the thing, and while it sucks, its just the way it is right now....the friends that I currently have in my life, make an effort to see me.  They realize that my schedule is a little tight.  Not with stupid bullshit, but with real life stuff.  So they make plans with me.  And, 9 times out of 10, they call me.  They have time to do that, and I rarely do.  Its nothing personal, its just that, I kind of have more important things to do then go down my list of friends and figure out who I haven't called in a while.

Are there women out there that have this all figured out and do it way better than I do, of course.  But I am a working mom and I am tired.  And I'll be god damned if I put my friends before my kid, my boyfriend, or my family.  I'm sorry, but going out to some shitty Kirkland bar is not my idea of a fun time anymore.  I have a kid and this is my life now, take it or leave it.  Real friends fit in when and where they can and don't fight me for not giving them enough attention. 

You will always lose to my kid and my family.  Period.