Guess what...I'm a little busy. Not the kind of busy that includes getting my nails done twice a week or planning my next trip to wherever or trying to fit in a bunch of happy hour dates throughout the month. No, I'm for real busy. Like grow a human and now take care of him busy.
Maybe its a little unclear what that really means...so, please, for your sake and mine, let me explain....
I now wake up between the hours of 1:30 - 4:30 every other morning. I then feed the baby and try get him to go back to bed. Sometimes successful, most times not.
I then wake up at 6 am and start my day. I then go work a full-time job. On my way home from my full-time job, I pick the child up at daycare, bring him home, and we chat. Babies like to chat...they also like a ton of attention. So, while you think I am at home having a grand ol time filing my nails and having tons of telephone chats with all my other friends, I am in fact speaking baby and reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear. Which, just so happens to be Joey's favorite book. His only favorite book.
Its now 6 o'clock, and mind you, I've been up since 4 am, and worked a whole day, and read Brown Bear, Brown Bear a thousand times. Oh, and guess what, I forgot to mention all the pissing that's happened in this amount of time. So we've changed a ton of diapers on top of everything else, and guess what, dinner needs to be made. Ours and Joey's. Joey goes first. Did you know children aren't born knowing how to eat off a spoon? You can imagine how fun the learning process is. We finish, everything is a mess, I wipe his face and put the towel in the laundry.
Oh shit! You have a fuck ton of laundry to do. Maybe it was because I was so busy with all my other friends that I forgot to do this, or maybe I had some other, more important shit going on. Either way, do the laundry.
Now, your significant other is home. He also works a full time job. He is hungry and you forgot to make him dinner! Make the man dinner and try to have a conversation with him about something other than your kid. Oh, you have nothing else going on in your life so its a little hard to do that. So you stare at each other for a while.
Thank the lord, you have made it to 9:30 bed time. If you're lucky this is as easy as feeding him a bottle, if your not lucky its a 15-20 minute process. 10 o'clock, baby in bed.
Now, you're exhausted, your significant other is exhausted, and guess what! you get to do it all again tomorrow. And the next day and the next day.
As you can tell from this awesome schedule, there is minimal talking between my significant other and myself. We are so exhausted that its really difficult to have any sort of conversation with each other besides "I'm so tired." But, instead of working on my relationship with my boyfriend, I should definitely take this time to call or text you. I shouldn't go to sleep, or clean my house or pay our bills or wash more of Joey's clothes or have a conversation with my boyfriend, I should call you.
Here's the thing, and while it sucks, its just the way it is right now....the friends that I currently have in my life, make an effort to see me. They realize that my schedule is a little tight. Not with stupid bullshit, but with real life stuff. So they make plans with me. And, 9 times out of 10, they call me. They have time to do that, and I rarely do. Its nothing personal, its just that, I kind of have more important things to do then go down my list of friends and figure out who I haven't called in a while.
Are there women out there that have this all figured out and do it way better than I do, of course. But I am a working mom and I am tired. And I'll be god damned if I put my friends before my kid, my boyfriend, or my family. I'm sorry, but going out to some shitty Kirkland bar is not my idea of a fun time anymore. I have a kid and this is my life now, take it or leave it. Real friends fit in when and where they can and don't fight me for not giving them enough attention.
You will always lose to my kid and my family. Period.