Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Finances and baby makin

Very recently the Callahan/Armon family made a very brutal decision.  One entirely based on the all mighty dollar, American ideals and long term security via financial independence.  I know, it sounds barfy and pretentious and all around gross to us too.

We have decided to put off having another baby, indefinitely.  We have an idea of when that time will be, but it is not any time soon.  And this sucks.  A lot.  As early as two months ago I was ready to start trying again.  I was ready to just say screw it and throw faith into the wind and hope everything turned out ok. 

Then I started thinking.... 

We want to buy a house.  We want to be married (well, I do, Rick maybe not so much).  We want to not struggle paycheck to paycheck.  We don't ever want to rely on state programs or our families to get us through.  (Not a knock to those who do, its just not for us).  Basically, we want to afford our life.  And, we are just barely affording the life we have now.  So, $800 a month daycare bill times 2 will just not work.

Its really shitty to think your family and essentially your future is dictated by crap like this.  I envy those women/families who don't care about the same kind of materialistic b.s. I do (owning a home, marriage, savings accounts, etc) and are able to have as many kids as they desire and make it work.  Searching to the very core of my being, I know I can never do that, and that sucks.  I fret and fright and get anxious about finances and even now I worry about paying for Joey's college.  I equate financial security with safety.  And adding another kid to our mix right now just doesn't seem safe. 

So now our plan is paying off our cars, student loans and credit cards.  Once that is complete we will have more than enough money to put a down payment on a house and revisit the baby chat.  And hopefully at that time Rick and I will both be making more money and the transition will be a lot less frightening. 

And hey, maybe Rick will shock the hell out of us all and we'll be married by then!!! 

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