Just like that one asshole I used to date....

I've figured it out.

Babies are like the relationship that involved your first love.  The one where the guy was a complete asshole and you fell head over heals in love.  The one where you wished you could spend every waking moment with them and then when you were together it was pure torture cause he was a raving lunatic that didn't give two shits about you.

Yup, babies are just like that.

I miss Joey all day.  I talk about all the cute things he is doing, how much I miss his cute little face and how I can't wait to get home and play with him.

Then we come home.

And its hell.

From the moment I pick him up at daycare to the moment we finally get him to bed, and then the middle of the night, it is torturous.  I don't understand what is going on.  I will even walk in to daycare and witness him being completely normal and playing with toys and kids, but at home we aren't allowed to put him down and he screams and cries THE ENTIRE TIME we aren't holding him. 

Then there is our new middle of the night routine. 

Bed at 8, screaming crying at around 1 or 2 and demanding to be near us and out of his crib, then we sleep on the floor with him or bring him into bed and the other parent goes and sleeps on the couch.

This is the definition of insanity.

What the hell happened to Joey.  

We are doing the thing where we are trying to "figure out" what the hell is up, because this isn't normal.  Even for psycho Joey this isn't normal.  This is a new level of psychotic that I didn't even know was possible in a one year old.

Molars maybe?

Growing?

Just an asshole that doesn't give two shits about us?

I love....

I love how Joey has a "favorite band."

I love how he says "Hi" to us everytime he sees us.

I love how he brings us books for him to read.

I love how he discovered turning in circles and has been doing non-stop ever since.

I love how he will squirm and sqeeze his way in to sitting between my legs when I am sitting on the floor.

I love how Joey wants to know we are physically there while he sleeps.

I love how he says "mmwwwahhh" just like I do when we give kisses.

I love that I now have 2 art projects from him.

I love how Joey will rub any soft thing on his face or try and put it on his head like a hat.

I love how he prefers Italian food over anything else. (My boy!!)

I love how he is perfectly content sitting in his daddy's lap listening to music on the computer.

I love how he plays with Phoebe.

I love how he points to everything and says "ttsat?"

I love how he growls and hisses at us. 

I love how he laughs and squeals.


I spent last night on the floor with Joey because he needed my hand holding his hand to be able to get to sleep.  While I laid there with him I thought of the monster man and all the things I loved about him.  As he coughed and snorted and tossed and turned and felt around for reassurance that I was still there I fell in love with him 1000 times more.  He just wanted me there and I was more than happy to do that for him.

Dance maniac

Joey + Foster the People = Love.

This is the product of many many Rick and Sarah kitchen dance sessions.  We couldn't be more proud.

Note the big disgusting herpe looking this on his forehead.  He got "ran over" at daycare.

Bah Humbug

This will be Joey's 2nd Christmas. 

The first Christmas didn't really count because he was only a month and a half old.  I don't even think anyone bothered to get him a present.  It was basically go to our families houses so they could all hold him and get their baby fix in. 

He is now one.  Which, in all reality, isn't much different from a year ago.  Besides the noise and destruction thing, he is basically the same.  He has no idea what is going on, can't really partake in Christmas treats and has no idea what a present is. 

So, I didn't anticipate this Christmas being any different from the last one.  I thought I had one more year left to be my usual scrooge self.  I thought we could avoid the whole Christmas tree and decorating the house thing.  He will NEVER know that we didn't decorate or make cookies or have a tree for his 2nd Christmas on planet Earth.  We will have to be all Christmasy for him for at least the next 10 years....couldn't I just have one more year!!?

Unfortunately, for me, I just so happen to procreate with the jolliest person ever who refuses to let us act like Christmas doesn't exist. 

There is a tree. 

There are lights. 

There were Christmas cookies baked AND Christmas music playing in my house this weekend, AND we attended a Christmas program at Joey's daycare. 

Christmas wins.

Bah Humbug!

Please also note the lit up mantle.  It's Santa's street. 

Ugliest decorations of all time.

Did you know there is such a thing as COLORED icicle lights?!  Rick demanded color.

These stayed on for 2.5 seconds. 

"Singing" Jingle Bells...more like chewing on the bell while someone sings for you.

I only got the tail end of the performance.  Joey was supposed to ring a bell.

Hats off to you me dears

Joe Joe's new obsession.  Bowl hat, hat bowl.  Bowl. Hat.

We noticed his obsessive hat behavior as soon as he started feeling better.  It's this bowl and this bowl only that makes him coo-coo. 

The path of destruction

Warning, this will be a bitching and moaning type post.

Not only has that god damn virus made me a complete basket case (note: prescription for Klonopin) but it has also completely screwed up our super freaking awesome schedule! 

It also made my baby a freak.  He cuddles now!  And not just a "oh this feels really sweet we can do this for a minute" cuddle.  No, he wants the "sleep with me and be the big spoon and hold me tight" cuddle.

So.tired.

I know, I'm a horrible bitch.  My son just went through this horrible ordeal and we overcame an amazing amount of stress and dysfunction; can't you just be happy he is well!?

Yes.  I'm am not that crappy of a person. 

I am completely overjoyed and blessed that he is better.  But, I am exhausted. 

I spend all day worrying he is going to die.  I then go home and worry he is going to die in front of my eyes.  Then we put him down to sleep and I worry he is going to have a seizure in his room and die and we will walk into a dead baby in the morning. 

Then I take my crazy pills and hope to get some rest. 

Then he wakes up at 3 and wants to cuddle and rub his face on blankets.  The very blankets that happen to be laying over you, who is laying on the floor of either his bedroom or the living room.  So at 3 in the morning you have a 27 pound baby rolling around all over you and poking you in the face to see if your eyes are open.

I want life pre-worst night of my life. 

Now.

Fuck you febrile seizures and everything you destroy in your path.

I'll get better rest before I try to write again

....and I didn't even go into the hitting thing we have going on. 

What we learned

We are finally on the tail-end of this nightmare.  While we don't know exactly what caused the fever in Joey, we have a pretty good idea.

The fever was probably caused by a viral infection which caused a temporary suppression of his bone marrow and subsequently his white blood count.  This low white blood count was then unable to fight off any infection or bacteria in his body.  

At the same time, he had a minor ear infection which made his fever worse.  

Its not clear where the virus came from but the doctors say it was pretty severe. 

So, there we have it.  A bone marrow attacking super virus. 

My mom says crap like this only happens to people who are strong enough to handle it.  I would like to believe that we were strong and we got through this because we are super awesome at life.  In all actuality we got through this because people surrounded us with love and good thoughts.  We have such wonderful people in our life and we would have been lost without the support.  

Hopefully something like this never happens again and hopefully Joey makes it to adulthood without so much as a scrape on his finger.  Something tells me, though, that this is only the beginning of a wild ride with Joey.  .